Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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