I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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