Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
