If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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