did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Pappa wants mamma naked
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize