history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
