My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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