Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
