This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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