My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
