That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize