I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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