At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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