yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
