Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
