would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
