I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
