i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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