with your own penis?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
