Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
