you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
