the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your cock deserves a montage
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
