walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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