i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
