No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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