he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
