Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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