"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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