Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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