Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
