started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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