she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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