Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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