Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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