party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
