The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
