She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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