Whod you bang
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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