Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
