One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize