I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
