She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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