I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
