all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
