we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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