It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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