I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize