sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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