I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
