i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
