You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
