I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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