i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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