I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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