My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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