We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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