he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
