so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
