Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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