he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
