Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
