She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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