So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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