In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
