Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
