piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
