the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
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